Consistency

When you asked me to be 
a part of your future, still, 
you spoke to my softness. 

When I pointed out you were
still asking for more from me,
I reminded you of my strength. 

Solemate

The life etched into the palms of my two hands 
once told a psychic that I would fall in love. 
Amidst the cacophony of a community living, 
she learned that I had fallen, crumbled, that
in the following years I would rise from dust. 
I poured my heart out through those lines...

this one meant I would count in decades not years, 
this one meant I drowned in a past life, and
that one meant I would find my soulmate. 

... So, I searched, looked for truth, tore walls down,
remained quietly alert, drove while still fiddling
with a radio dial until I found just the right song.
I shared the ride with someone, they exited quickly.
And I forgot my lover, my partner, my friend, 
That soulmate was me all along, and I just...

had not quite met her yet. 

Love: a Eulogy

Nature and nurture
are equally voracious 
lovers in the night.

Checking In

I should have asked if

you loved me when I told you 
all of me was yours. 

Where to Even Begin

I tried looking for you in the corners of my apartment.

I made a list of what I found:

- 1,000 ear plugs, many of which seemed to grow legs and wander around 
- roughly 7 polaroids of you caught off guard, moments when you were the most beautiful to me 
- 2 XL shirts, snatched from a friend just in case you needed them 
- 2 pieces of jewelry, both selected by you with such thought and care that they don't burn my skin but burn my heart to touch
- 1 sweater you let me borrow to keep me warm, I loved how it smelled like you
- 1 pair of socks with eggs on them; a gift from a friend, a nod to my affection 
- 1 painting purchased only 2 months ago... had I known then that the subject's gaze would no longer remind me of strength and beauty but instead heartbreak and loss would I have still loved it?
- 1 photo from that same trip which may prove to be too hard to keep... all I can remember is how you kissed me in those warm waters, our late night walks, how distinctly at ease I was around you
- and countless memories of conversations of laughs of naps of meals of realizing that even if I scrubbed the earth of these items my mind and heart would still betray me by things found when I remembered I still needed to turn inwards and try and fail to gather you up there too.