Courage as a Service

they told me to 
become harder,
so I remained soft. 

they wanted me to
remain quiet, 
so I amplified my voice. 

they stared at
my curves, 
so I covered them in edges. 

they asked me to
sit still, look pretty, 
so I boarded a rocket ship.

Vulnerability

I'm not so interested 
in quick wit
as I am in being fleet footed
I skate on thin emotional ice
warm words and warmer embraces
melting the very walls
scars worked so hard to build
they posit each snowflake is unique
and I reckon they're not wrong

Inflicted pain knows many names
and words continue to hurt me.

Destruction // Construction

in fog, seek out the earth 
run the soil through your fingertips
know that you, too, are composed
of sediment and nutrients alike, that
nourishment and consumption are
temporary and rhythmic states

Scientific Inquiries

if blue is the warmest color
then why did the depths 
of my depression feel
like shards of ice

A Peculiar Place

he asked if I was 
happy, 

as if I could choose

I'm a vessel, I find that
people have no qualms
depositing their joy, pain

I'm a chameleon, constantly
pivoting to meet you at the
space between you and yourself

I'm a kaleidoscope, overwhelmed
by the sheer intensity of how lost
everyone can always be all of the time

I'm an explosion of energy, because
how can you expect me to contain it
all and not have it read across my skin?

I'll play seven different faces
on a Tuesday, all of them 
guaranteed to break you

he asked if I was
happy,

truthfully? I don't know

Growth

I used to search for

roots, to be rooted, 

but I liken myself to an airplant now 

Touchstones and Stardust

And throughout it all

The moon still shines and the stars

Provide a path home

Protection

They’ll call it love

in a time of low expectations.

From what I remember of

lives before this one, water

boils and freezes in equal turns.

Hydrogen and oxygen will

push and pull, cycles

of evaluation and investment.

After years of learning about

self defense and soft underbellies,

I’ve come to give life and drown,

siren call and cast white noise,

in tidal measures, oceans of

distance protecting tender chambers.