S.Z.H.

You told me not to cry, not to worry,

and yet we both knew it was the end.
It's cruel the way the universe seems 
to place those I love so far away...

It was not really unexpected, and yet
if my reality is my own social construct
can I construct one with you still in it?
Because I do not think I am in a place 
where I can even begin to comprehend.

There are what, five stages of grieving?
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression,
and an acceptance I am struggling with. 
It feels like Novocain's dull, gray numbness 
coating the world one dose at a time. 

Continents apart, I see your legacy in your
children, grandchildren, great grandchildren. 
It's in the intelligence, compassion, and mirth;
It's in the stubbornness, empathy, and love
of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and nephews. 

All I can hope for, all I can dream of
is that my life is as full of love and laughter. 
That I find a partner who I will rest beside
when I enter my final, eternal slumber. 
That I find a way to leave more than I take, 
And that I am remembered by the ripples I created. 

I missed you yesterday. I miss you today.  
And I will miss you tomorrow.

Rest in peace, Baba.