How Can I Help

Breathe, breathe again, breathe

we're negotiations of 

molecules

~ oxygen and carbon dioxide ~

trying to deal 

the best we can 

with whatever air 

we have at the time

Unlearn

Leaking emotional energy, 
my internal stillness crushed 
under an exoskeleton, 
soft underbelly no longer
exposed to predators, 
hidden from even myself.

When it all started eroding,
I still had to be there for others. 
The weight of it cause a mudslide, 
everything became murky. 
Relationships crumbled and people
who leaned on me too heavily 
lost their sure footing. 

But time passes more slowly for me, 
I'm tending to my own wounds. 
Reclaiming the earth and the sun,
the flowers as they once were,
sharing this gift with others again. 

As I traveled around the world, 
I cried, I was scared of loss and 
distance and change and 
wandering until my feet bleed.
But I'm not built for the fashion 
of that coat designed by 
someone else, layered on me 
without my own consent. 
It does not suit me, is not mine 
to wear or to gift to anyone else. 
I'm stripping it of its parts, thanking 
it for how it sought to protect me, 
opting to cremate the rest.

Security, Survival

I'll build roots within

for I am the surest thing

I can ever know.

Hallmark

Your birth, a present;
your presence, a gift to me. 
Happy birthday, friend. 

Chronic

"Por faaaa"

Babe,
Baby,
I need you to know
some thoughts are just for me. 

I'll ask for your patience,
your forgiveness
your understanding, 
but I'll demand safety.
I'll skip ahead of you sometimes, 
but I'll always turn back. 

"¿Adonde vas?"

Voy a
the cool tile floor of the bathroom
sometimes I just.can't.breathe.
the crook of your arm
so I can map the curves of you,
memorize the buttons that drive you crazy
around, abroad, anywhere...
the hint of a cage terrifies me. 

"How was cenar"

Lonely, filling, over done
it tried to be home, but
it was nothing I recognized
it tried to be home, but
it was a glass house and 
I spent my time peering in 
knowing without a doubt I wanted you.

"I appreciate you"

When you break my heart
when I shatter at the end 
of this free fall we've embarked on
will you still speak then?
join forces with the silence?
These syllables, I roll them 
in my palms, over my tongue, 
in laps around and around and

I just need you to know
some thoughts 
~ fuck these thoughts ~
are for me.