Unlearn

Leaking emotional energy, 
my internal stillness crushed 
under an exoskeleton, 
soft underbelly no longer
exposed to predators, 
hidden from even myself.

When it all started eroding,
I still had to be there for others. 
The weight of it cause a mudslide, 
everything became murky. 
Relationships crumbled and people
who leaned on me too heavily 
lost their sure footing. 

But time passes more slowly for me, 
I'm tending to my own wounds. 
Reclaiming the earth and the sun,
the flowers as they once were,
sharing this gift with others again. 

As I traveled around the world, 
I cried, I was scared of loss and 
distance and change and 
wandering until my feet bleed.
But I'm not built for the fashion 
of that coat designed by 
someone else, layered on me 
without my own consent. 
It does not suit me, is not mine 
to wear or to gift to anyone else. 
I'm stripping it of its parts, thanking 
it for how it sought to protect me, 
opting to cremate the rest.