united states of violence

there were 15 mass shootings in

the last 10 days

I usually leave my apartment by 9 am

to meet my team

I can't remember when I last ate

today I took the 7

there's 6 of us organizing safety

workshops for hundreds

I just needed 5 minutes of breathing

for me to not disassociate, to be

able to string together more than

3 words - I love you

I love you I love you

just in case I leave you

I take 2 trains to safety

I take 1 train to my partner

sometimes I count 0 to 10

and back to know if I'm awake.

I don't always remember the

nightmares but I hope for the dreams.