Acknowledgment

I...



I tried looking for you in a story.
In a recollection of hero worship
born from survival instincts and
sacred places where roads cross. 

Every time I thought I found you,
upon further inspection I realized
it was a hollow mirage, a shadow,
a faint recollection of memories. 



I always

I always 

I always l



I can't say it, I won't say it, 
it's not stored in my tongue.
It's too painful to see so I'll 
hide behind blinking I's, and 
I didn't hear from you which 
kind of smelled like bullshit. 

I looked in all the places that 
made sense but I'm tactile and
you brought poetry to my fingertips 
and God, if you're there, please
take back Cupid's recklessness.

All I want to write is I'm sorry. 
I'm sorry you experience pain. 
I'm sorry you experience longing.
I now know I would do anything, 
would risk anything, would survive
anything for you to be safe, happy.

All I want to write is thank you. 
Thank you for witnessing me. 
Thank you for not shying away. 
I now know what magic those
fingers of those writers knew 
deep down in their bones.

And I'm not entitled to anything, 
but regardless I have a request. 
I hide behind fingerprints, but
you hide behind shade, cloak
yourself in shadows and midnight.
Step out into the sun, trust that
the world will think you're nothing
other than stunning, gorgeous. 

And if you lose your way I'm right 
around the corner from moonlight. 
I've been mistaken for a star but
all us celestials have in common
are bones older than Time itself. 



I didn't know how 
to start this. 

And.

I don't know how 
to end it.

Betrayed by my own senses, 
if there was one thing I learned:

She was written like a salve.
He trekked the road to find her.

Leave No Trace

And as much as I
hate to admit to these things
you left your imprint. 

I thought "leave no trace"
could be the cure and the salve; 
I was so naive.

Now I welcome rain. 
Wounds cannot heal properly
until they are cleansed.

Laws and Civil Disobedience

every

every
action
has
an
equal
and
opposite
reaction.

But frankly,
I wouldn't have made it this far
if I paid that much attention to the chatter.

Funhouse

Why do they tell us
his mirror reflection
will guide us true?

Only in a funhouse
should such myths
be allowed to exist.

Summer Camp

Growing up I sang
the same tune every summer.
Somewhere between the frantic energy
of "are we there yet"
and the lazy refrain only found
in a child's backseat snores,
you could hear me humming.

~ stroke, stroke, stroke, breathe ~

Every summer I learned it was
okay to wade water and
exhausting to fight currents and
more rewarding in life to dive right in.
They were invaluable life lessons,
teaching me how to avoid drowning
(if possible).

~ stroke, stroke, stroke, breathe ~

To develop our confidence, we called upon
chickens - for nurture and protection and comfort
eagles - to soar across ripples, through and around
swim lanes, ignoring hard boundaries.
rockets - for frequent reminders of the way
we could burn or inspire in equal turns.

~ stroke, stroke, stroke, breathe ~

Since those summers,
I've wandered this earth, flown
through sun kissed skies, ran
through concrete jungles, survived
the cycles of my heart nearly shattering.

~ stroke, stroke, stroke, breathe ~

Who knew that song was more than
a swimming technique and a gold star?
That while exploring murky waters,
it would save me from the depths.
That when I plummet I know there will be
an inevitable gasp of air when I resurface?

To Serve:

Let go of the things that no longer serve you.
Let go of the people who no longer serve you.
Let go of the memories that no longer serve you.

Let go.

Not all help or work must be done for others.
Some effort must be placed into your home.
They'll tell you otherwise but at times
the greatest service can be self-love.

To Hide:

when their words become
traps, obstacles, toxic, and
your soul seeks shelter.

The Takeover

Cool, I'll just be over here trying to mop up my heart which is now a puddle on this dingy coffee shop floor.

THANKS.

APPRECIATE IT.

~ dial tone ~

Sorry, this is Brain.
Given Heart is out of commission, I'm taking over.
And using only the best logic,
the best is a grand overstatement,
I've been waiting for a moment to lead operations for a while now.

First and foremost, Heart is going to remain on leave for a while until the rest of the bits are sure it's actually learning from breaking repeatedly.