"I Got Nothing."

My world has been gray for as long as I can remember.

Vibrant shades of the warmth of a wolf's fur,

the comfort of the front passenger seat,

the cool tile underneath nights of tequila, tequila, tequila

and borderlands between ultimatums that

were as sharp and dizzying as houndstooth

But the grays I experience now are different...

They're angry and LOUD and tease away at

my confidence, competence, consciousness. 

It's like I'm drowning while still inhaling

... in through your nose, out through your mouth...

but the mantra doesn't protect me from

an invisible monster whose name I do not know.

In between grays, there are vibrant shards. 

They slice away at the fog and glitter beyond my reach. 

The Brown pieces remind me of family, of bonds

that do not break even under the pressure of time. 

The blues pieces embrace me, console me, challenge me.

They're complex in that they're silent in their kindness and love. 

The yellow pieces are sheer energy and sunlight, 

a field of one thousand mammoth sunflowers yearning for the sky. 

And the green ones? They're from me to me, I saved them

for moments in time like this, my shield and my sword. 

Rainbows are born from the strength of thunder. 

They're born from the danger in lightning and 

the framework of prisms applied to tears. 

It may all be black and white at the end of the day, 

but without the grays and the rainbows, I got nothing.